![]() I married the boyfriend, we moved from small apartment to a feral cat ridden street just outside of Detroit. The story goes like many young love affairs do. "I know what I'm doing!"īut - and I know you'll be surprised by this – it turns out, I did not. "For God's sake, people!" I countered confidently, tossing my New Kids on the Block scrapbook into a half-filled moving box. ![]() ![]() Plus, add our "No Judgment" badge to your profile.Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play They'll be confessing the secrets they don't want to be judged for - so join in! Tweet with your own #dontjudgemebecause mom moment, or share it on our Facebook page. We're declaring November 30 "No-Judgment Day." Go to /motherboard, where we've just launched our new Motherboard Blog Council, featuring great new mommy bloggers nationwide. Her first book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, comes out in April.įor every mother who is doing the best she can (and yes, that's all of us), we're starting a movement to banish mom-on-mom criticism and start supporting each other. After all, we play for the same team: our kids. So why the condemnation? Why does identifying someone as a poor mother make us feel better about ourselves? There is no trophy for best parenting, and nothing to be gained from pitting ourselves against one another. Motherhood binds us: We are all on this crazy ride together, loving our kids the absolute best ways we can, trying to survive another day. ![]() Of course, getting comfortable with that kind of honesty hinges on having friends that act as a cheering squad, not hecklers. It's too bad when close friends lend you perspective, you almost instantly become a better mother. If, for whatever reason, those moms aren't getting the real-life hugs they need, a virtual one can do wonders.Ĭonfessing online feels so good - imagine how liberating it would be to speak the same words over a beer with girlfriends? It might be like therapy: You unload your darkest, most embarrassing thoughts, and then you're able to move on (only it's free)! We encourage our kids to talk about their emotions, but as parents, we do the opposite. People might not necessarily relate, but they want to offer their support. I no longer do." And then there are the confessions that deal with depression or illness or a deeply troubled child. One woman wrote, "If it wasn't for the confessional, I'd be convinced I'm the only mother who'd ever felt like a failure. When they finally do, their words are met with 20, 30, or 200 OMG Me Too's. I get emails from people who type and delete the same confession a dozen times before having the courage to submit. The need to vent is universal, and so is the craving for understanding. And finally, we're being honest about it. Sometimes, we yell too loudly and make poor choices. Anonymously, mothers were willing to get down and dirty about what parenting really looks like. Play icon The triangle icon that indicates to play I left no room for superiority or snark - we all face enough of that in the real world. Women post their feelings in the raw, and readers have three reaction options: They can click "Like," "OMG, Me Too!" or "Hug." There's no "Dislike" or "Eye Roll" button. So I built a virtual confessional for people like me, and made it a safe place by barring judgment of any kind. I wasn't proud of those moments, and thinking I was alone in having them made me feel even more helpless. I knew I wasn't the only mom who wanted to slam the door in my kid's face every once in a while, or temporarily favored one child over the other. I started the section because I got tired of the shiny-happy parenting reports filling up my Facebook feed. Pretty far-fetched scenarios, right? Yet the quotes above are real: They all came from an anonymous "confessional" on my website, Scary Mommy. In the middle of small talk, you say, "I wish I could be happy for my best friend's amazing children, happy marriage, and perfect life, but I'm seething with jealousy." You respond flatly, "I kiss her good-bye in the morning, then I close the front door and flip her off with both hands." Visualize yourself bumping into a neighbor who asks after your teenage daughter. ![]()
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